The hidden bonus of antenatal classes

Why Support Networks are Crucial for New Mums - a guest blog post from Helen Hawkins

Read any pregnancy guide or blog and it'll tell you the importance of signing up for antenatal classes in the months leading up to the big day. Classes promise to teach first-time parents the ins and outs (quite literally) of childbirth and what is likely to happen in those first precious weeks with your little one. A stickler for the rules, I signed up straight away. I must have been about three months pregnant, so it felt a little pre-emptive, but classes fill up quickly, so in the end, it was the right thing to do. I decided to go against the grain, and rather than book onto a course run by the nation’s leading provider of antenatal education, I chose one given by Birth Baby Balance, a local, independent organisation run by three lovely ladies with a wealth of knowledge and experience between them; and it turned out I really was in safe hands.

What they don't tell you is that the real benefit of signing up for your antenatal class is the friends you make along the way. It doesn't always work like this, so I count myself lucky. But I came away knowing a group of eight wonderfully supportive and genuinely lovely people. We instantly created a WhatsApp group and haven't looked back since. Over a year on and we still regularly exchange hundreds of messages a month, even though we are all back at work. We've even branched out, and sometimes it isn't all talk about the babies!

In those first few weeks we congratulated each other as, one by one, we welcomed our little ones into the world. We supported each other through the tough bits - recovering from stitches and C-sections and the challenges of breastfeeding. And alongside Amazon and Google, our trusty midnight friends, we were there for each other. We were on call (at least one of us always awake) and ready to respond to questions or fears or just to say 'you've got this mama.' Our 'strong-arm' emoji definitely found its calling in those early days!

The first few weeks after you come home from the hospital are tough. Living in a remote village and recovering from an unexpected C-section meant I suddenly felt stranded. Trying to keep a little human alive for the first time is terrifying, but thanks to Birth Baby Balance, I had the knowhow and the support network I needed to get through the toughest stage of parenting (that I'm aware of so far… which is a terrifying prospect!). Being a parent can be a lonely job, but once I was back on the road, maternity leave became a magnificent blur of coffee shop visits, long walks and leisurely picnics. Now, of course, it wasn't all perfect; babies are unpredictable to say the least, but my support network was there for grown-up conversations and getting out the house; without them, I don't think I would have kept my sanity.

Wherever you live, there is always a vast buffet of various baby groups you can sign up for. From local church toddler groups to larger organisations like Baby College, there is something for every budget and every type of baby. I went to a music class, baby college, swimming and Bumps and Babes, which is the coffee and support group run by BBB - we could get a hot cup of tea made for us and drink it; warm. Bliss! Also, as a somewhat nervous public breastfeeder, to begin with, the sanctuary of likeminded women (and the occasional dad), was so important to me in those early days (now, of course, I'm happy to crack on wherever I am and whoever I'm with!).

The difficulty with baby groups is that you are in your most vulnerable state, and you are coping with the unpredictability of a brand new little one (on no sleep). Somehow, you are expected to go in, potentially not knowing anyone, and make new friends, despite the fact you may have had less than two hours sleep, your boob is out, and you've got sick on your trousers. I'm socially awkward at the best of times, so the thought of putting myself out there was terrifying. Luckily for me, my BBB ladies were there; we went to various baby classes in groups of two or three. The knowledge that someone you know is going to be there is a game-changer, and for me was the difference between getting out of the house and doing activities with my baby and hiding away and living in my pyjamas for ten months!

My little one is 14 months old now, and this weekend we all attempted to meet up again - it didn't quite work out because of overlapping nap times and the inevitable nursery starter lurgy, but hey, that's what we've come to expect as parents of one-year-olds! We've met up regularly since the day we met, and it's so lovely to see how everyone is getting on and how much our babies are growing. We talk less about our baby worries now and more about our own lives; I have genuinely made a group of friends that will be with me, and my little one for life.

If you are pregnant for the first time (or even the second!), I would definitely sign up to an antenatal class, without a second thought. It is the best thing I did. It saved my sanity and gave my baby and me the best possible maternity leave experience we could have asked for. I've got friends who are always there for each other, whatever the time of the day or night, who are happy to talk about bodily fluids, toddler tantrums or why toddlers enjoy throwing broccoli on the floor! And I really couldn't have done it without them.